How to Handle Opinions & Make Better Decisions Using Design Thinking

Big life changes—whether in our careers, relationships, or personal growth—often come with a flood of opinions. Some people will cheer you on. Others will be skeptical. Many will feel compelled to offer their thoughts, whether you ask for them or not.

For many women, this external noise can feel overwhelming, even paralyzing. I hear it, see it, and have felt it myself:

• “My mom doesn’t want me to leave my stable job.”
• “My friends think I should just be grateful for what I have.”
• “My partner doesn’t believe this new career path is realistic.”

It’s natural to want the support of the people we love. But the reality is, people will always have opinions—and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to silence them or convince them to agree. Instead, it’s about using their perspectives wisely—like data points—to make stronger, more informed decisions.

People Will Have Opinions—Let Them. And Leverage Them.

When we make big life moves, it can disrupt other people’s expectations of us. But their opinions aren’t always about us—they’re often reflections of their own fears, experiences, or limiting beliefs.

• Some will think you’re making a mistake.
• Some will think you should stay where you are.
• Some will not see your vision.

What they think and feel is out of your control. But instead of rejecting their viewpoints outright, what if you used them as tools for insight? What if their perspectives could actually help you develop a better solution or path forward?

That’s where integrative thinking comes in—a powerful mindset shift that transforms how we process external opinions.

What Is Integrative Thinking?

Integrative thinking is the ability to hold multiple, sometimes conflicting perspectives at once and use them to create a better outcome.

It’s not about choosing between two opposing ideas (you’re right, they’re wrong). Instead, it’s about weaving together the best elements of each to refine your thinking and decisions.

Rather than viewing other people’s concerns as roadblocks, integrative thinking helps us ask:

✅ What valuable insight can I take from their perspective?
✅ Are they pointing out something I haven’t fully considered?
✅ What part of their concern is about me, and what part is about their own fears or experiences?
✅ How do I move forward while addressing what actually matters?

By shifting from defensiveness to discovery—by embracing curiosity—we stop seeing opinions as obstacles and start using them as tools to refine our decisions.

How I Use This With My Mom

My mom is the most solution-focused person I know. In her mind, there’s always a clear path forward.

Which is great. Except… it’s not always aligned with my goals, values, or beliefs.

Over the years, I’ve learned to stop reacting defensively (most of the time anyway) and shift my approach:

🔹 I listen. Even if I don’t agree, she often sees things I don’t.
🔹 I filter. Not every concern applies to me, and that’s okay.
🔹 I decide. I take what’s useful and let go of the rest.

And you know what? This process has made me a better decision-maker. It’s helped me avoid disasters (like impulsively running away for months to become a yoga instructor), refine my plans, and stay grounded—without letting external opinions dictate my choices.

And best of all? I’ve been able to maintain my close relationships while staying true to myself.

Applying Integrative Thinking to Career and Life Decisions

Whether you’re pivoting careers, starting a business, moving to a new city, or setting personal boundaries—expect resistance.

People will project their fears, experiences, and values onto your choices.

That doesn’t mean they’re right—and it doesn’t mean you’re wrong.

Instead of feeling like you have to defend or justify yourself, try this four-step approach:

1️⃣ Acknowledge their opinion: “I see why you feel that way.”

2️⃣ Extract useful insights: What part of this do I need to consider?”

3️⃣ Let go of the rest:“This doesn’t align with my values or vision.” (You don’t need to say this out loud—just think it!)

4️⃣ Make your decision with confidence. 

People will think what they think. Let them.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t use their perspectives to make stronger, more informed choices.

The Takeaway: You Build the Life That Works for You

At the end of the day, you are the one who lives with your choices—not your parents, partner, or friends.

So let people have their opinions. Let them worry. Let them doubt.

Then, take what’s useful, leave what’s not, and build the career and life that works for you.

FAQs About Integrative Thinking

1. How can integrative thinking help with career changes?

Integrative thinking helps you analyze conflicting opinions and extract valuable insights, allowing you to make strategic, well-rounded career decisions.

2. What’s the difference between integrative thinking and compromise?

Compromise involves giving up parts of an idea, while integrative thinking combines the best aspects of multiple perspectives to create an innovative solution.

3. How do I practice integrative thinking daily?

Start by welcoming different viewpoints, asking thoughtful questions, and looking for common ground in conflicting perspectives.

4. Can integrative thinking help in personal relationships?

Yes! It allows you to understand different viewpoints, communicate effectively, and make decisions that align with your values while maintaining strong relationships.

5. How do I deal with negative opinions without feeling discouraged?

Reframe negative opinions as learning opportunities. Ask yourself: “Is there a useful insight here?” If not, move forward with confidence.

6. Is integrative thinking a skill I can develop?

Absolutely! Like any skill, it takes practice. Start by actively listening, staying open-minded, and seeking innovative solutions instead of binary choices.

Need more insights on making smarter career and life decisions? Stay tuned for more expert strategies!